Ex-depression: Expression of depression

What a title? Some of you might be thinking it. Right? Be serious, it is about word the depression and the feeling depression. ‘Not funny… it takes guts to reveal it. Someone go through it and then you’ll get it. Well it’s just a cheap publicity stunt.’ And lots more opinions. And Here take mine. How come all of them remember about their harassments when their career is getting new lows? “Depressed about being depressed!”

Two perspective from both Positive and Negative sides:

Negative: Some celebrities (if you know who I’m talking about!) only came to media to talk about her/his depression and remembered her/his choice just before the release of the film. What a great timing! Movie will surely earn at least 100cr., now. If I am sucking at what I do, let’s tell people how depressed I am. The new trend is here, tada!!

Positive: They doesn’t suck at what they does… depression is a reality and there is still a stigma attached it. You won’t understand what impact this would have on the people who are actually going through it. Instead of neglecting it they might now dare to speak about this problem, accept it and work towards the cure. and I remember it once you only told me that if celebrities highly depressed and they take on pills. How come you suddenly feel that this is a publicity stunt?

Negative: I know and respect what she is going through but this time I am seeing it from the other angle too, and trying to put 2 and 2 together. All these things just before the release of their movie has definitely got a lot to do with it. Being depressed and selling your depression are two different things. Choices, depression or empowerment doesn’t appear on the front page of any magazine! It’s almost sounds like saying… I choose to brush my teeth or not… I choose to eat my food or not… these are not the choices that are denied nor do they define anyone.

Positive: But even if they tried to “sell” their depression it’s a help to those who are suffering through it. So eventually this will have good consequences. Have you been waiting for the future so that you can make a choice between drinking Iced Coffee and Cold Tea?

Negative: No please don’t use such issues to make me a choice between drinking Iced Coffee and Cold Tea. I loved it anyway! People will argue that we can choose, thing is that all we just have to accept the consequences. True. I am free to cut off my arm, too. Come to your point, How is it a help? Watch “the video” it’s is far away from reality and so much disturbing at a few points. If a girl in depression would watch it, I am sure it won’t do any good to her.

Positive: Why deviate it to my choice… I didn’t like it either… but the depression thing is different… see I’ll tell you how it might help. You know in our society if you are depressed people will make a big deal out of it and think that you are mentally unstable but if I feel I suffer from depression I would not hesitate much in talking about it because depression is something which happened to someone as successful as celebrities and the fact that she is still doing well proves that it’s not a mental sickness and is as common as any other disease that can be cured and you can be normal again. You won’t be tagged as ‘pagal’ thereafter because if you are a pagal then so is celebrities. And we know the fascination we Indians have towards stars so don’t get started over who is celebrities and all that.

Negative: But my point is if you are depressed go to a doctor don’t use media as a platform for your publicity. And moreover if it comes out just before a movie release, then it’s high time for getting the clue that why has this depression stunt came out? Yes, already whole country knows that celebrities are depressed but coming up on a national platform just to show tears is definitely not done. News channels are meant for news but not for laying platform for movie promotions. It’s high time media should understand their responsibility on what to show and what not to show. There were a lot more depressed people in B-town who never came on camera to tell their stories. If you remember some like Jiya Khan, she was so depressed that it resulted in a suicide, but she didn’t have a movie to release around that time, hence she did not get a platform on national television. Let’s think it this way. You might be correct, here I am not talking about what is needed for depression patients. And people who are so depressed will definitely not be moved by a TV program. I am talking about today anything and everything has become so important about celebs which actually is not. And we must check the track of that particular one, before every movie release, they finds her/himself in a big controversy! Get over it! High time! Audience is not stupid.

Positive: A doctor? How do you know that depressed people will not be moved by a TV program? Whatever the celebrity does is his or her life. You have the choice of not watching it. You are no critique to analyze the entire situation. How sure can you be that this is a publicity stunt? Have you ever been depressed? Stop going on and on about things you don’t understand. Do you have verified information? See, your point of view is not wrong. But when someone places their views over yours accept them. If you think you are right, they are not wrong either. And we are no one to judge how things are. The views you presented above are not balanced. A journalist needs to be neutral, talking from both the sides. (We’re not a journalists) They are genuinely in depression, they chose to come forward and talk about it. All of us tend to take things so negatively these days that we forget the essence of it. Men already have the choice of doing what they are doing, women still suffer. We are not a weak that a video has to tell our women what to do. We have made our choice long back, we didn’t and patriarchy is a result of it.

Negative: I am not targeting any personal here I am just talking about the way media is being used. If I was really depressed it would not even strike my mind that I would go to a news channel and talk on television and rather I would have seriously gone to a doctor or anyone with whom I would feel happier. And about the video itself said it was their choice to do it or not to do it, but if they had done it, that obviously becomes a sign of acceptance that they are fine with the script. I know now this whole discussion can turn towards the freedom of expression and all and again the same points that it was on the viewers whether to watch it or not, I completely agree with it. And no one is saying that they were not under depression or just did it as an act. Again I would like to draw your attention to the argument which I am putting up since the beginning of this conversation that – why depression episode just before the release of the movie – why are there controversies always before the release of their movies always. For celebrities media has just become a packet of spice (“Masala”), which they would not hesitate to use whenever they want to create hype over a certain issue. I am not even saying that being a feminist is wrong, but if you are a feminist, get to the basic concept of feminism and not be a feminazi. Just feel “hell annoyed”, when such things come out in media and directly or indirectly wo-men are blamed for everything as if wo-men were responsible for every negative thing happening in the society with the wo-men. It is high time we must open up our minds and look into these things closely and “I do so”. On the point of being a critique, I say that, if the freedom of expression give someone a right to act in a movie or produce it, the same freedom of expression gives me a right to criticize it to the core, “if it hurts me anyway”. And yes, I do accept your point of view too, you have right to have your opinion, and I just telling that what is mine. I completely respect what you think, what celebrities thought and all of those who are in favour of it. If I would get depression I would rather go to a doctor than going to media. The fact is they are act-ors. Depression is the new fashion in town now. Lets see who is next in the line!  See, I can make things less complicated by these lines. Thank you.

What’s the basic difference between a some argument with logical reasoning and a knife!?
The knife has a point! and it has a logical deduction too to the end of the cutting edge day.

So copious Readers, what kind of laughter, there’s the kind of things that “makes you go hmmm”? huh?  Strange and meaningless talks you talk when you’ve nothing to talk about. Great point about boredom. That is why I found it as default brain space.

The negative is me and the positive is a friend. Maybe, by what their content say, you think the opposite. I’m just trying to cover up here to save a friend. Sorry my friend, I have to reveal it (Because I chose it! Made right choice. Isn’t it?!). Because “I think” we made a completely random, an awesome conversation that might people need to know. I don’t care if I get any punishment for it either 😛

Mean while readers might be thinking “Feeling like seating in some editorial room of news publication.” Anyways, Thank you for wasting your time and reading it.


Cli-mate Change and Childhood Cold

It’s that time of the weather when ice cream and popsicles mean a lot to our throat. The life savers in Summers! Just observing these kids in neighbourhood from a week now. The little kids are enjoying their childhood as those days when the icecreamwallas meant much more than anything.

The icecreamwallas arrive in neighbourhood with his box of ice cream rolling on small wheels accompanied by a ringing bell. His entry wasn’t as ordinary as it seemed to adult eyes. He was the star of the summer afternoon as kids would encircle him. His tiny customers didn’t know how to maintain decorum because some things were much more important than discipline. It is a matter of taste and (almost) crisis: Kids squabbling about one flavour over another was routine for a reason. Just like grown-ups silently wonder what to order at a restaurants, hotels, cafes.

One mini-sized heroine happened to be of the silent type so the noise wouldn’t make much of a difference to her choice. She knew what she wanted… for the most part, that is. She wasn’t fond of milk so white was out of question. She had tried orange a few days ago so it was not going to be orange again. She liked the plumy coloured one but she wasn’t really sure whether it’d be worth the bet. What if it disappointed her the way pomegranate disappointed her as a fruit? She couldn’t go back and demand another one, what a universal dilemma in small mind? The parental quota was restricted to just one. So chocolate flavour it’d be usually followed by her cute young triangular smug-face. Chocolate flavour has always a class in childhood. Isn’t it?!
Things you want to do, not just observe!

Be HopeHolic, never lose an alcoholic argument

I’ve got nothing against alcohol. Absolutely nothing. I just don’t like it mixing with my blood stream. I may not be the most sensible person around but I prefer to be in control of my faculties. I’ve spent more than a couple of a century without it and I intend to continue doing so for the rest of my time I may live (not too long) but at least alive. In the meanwhile, I’ve got nothing against those who consume it either anymore. It’s their liver (their liver deserves it. isn’t it?!) so who am I to judge? They should be smart and learn how to read the signs. That is how you know the best way to worm your way in. People who enjoy alcohol or cigarette or any other drugs or every three of them that happen to be the ones who can afford it. I could neither afford it nor wanted to. If they decide to play the game, there is no way they will win.

They may try to outsmart you but their Diet Hoperules and yours are not the same. They forget you have no emotion and that is how you win the game. I wonder what it must be like to go through life this way. Since I was stupid enough to let you in my life and regret it every day. However, I thoroughly resent it when somebody with a drink in his hand at a social do goes “You should try at least once”.

Here’s the deal people: You never try anything just once. It isn’t within human nature to quit after just one sip. Or bite. Or anything else for that matter. Our curiosity has a way with us. Which is why I find it remarkably stupid when somebody says “You can’t possibly know if you haven’t tried” with confidence.” Well, I know, miss. Just like you know that drinking a vampire blood in your mouth isn’t good for you. You are 100% sure that it isn’t for you? right? Exactly my point. And the same applies to you too, Sir. Few days ago I chilled with unknown ones who didn’t use the Internet. We listened to music and this talk happened. Can you imagine?!

Freedom Friday

When I was in school, weekends and Sundays meant a lot to me (anyway I hated school. And I didn’t realize why. I thought there was something wrong with me for hating school, for not being able to deal with school). And today, can’t even figure out when exactly Saturday ends and Sunday begins and Monday sneaks with knock knock jokes and riddles.

Everyday, the same crowd, the same hush-hush, the same proclivity towards elbowing our way to the nearest available gadgets. May be, someday we’ll realize how foolish we were to be left and right stranded in a crowd. People Play, so as Shadows!May be, this was how it was meant to be. Or I don’t know for sure, this was inevitable, even Mahatma Gandhi purported the view of undoing industrial revolution, or at least curtail it some extent. We are unwantingly getting denied by ourselves a viral and virtual self-deception. Every once in a while, you ask yourself irritating and such a boring questions from “Why do my life (stuck) suck?” to “Where did I go wrong?” and to further add injury to insult, you are answer-less. At least in my case!

Speaking of Friday again, if there was a vote for the day with most goodwill, my vote will definitely go for Friday instead of any other weekday or even Sunday. Honestly, how many people actually ‘live’ Sunday. Friday is the perfect balance between slavery, hope and then freedom. This is the day when you work thinking of weekend. This can also be the day when you feel everything is getting better and someone reminds you of pending unusual work. However, Friday is worth the Monday and other weekdays’ pain isn’t it? Like seriously, (Take note: I can’t take it seriously) Friday is a true working class hero.

The bottom line is they won’t crib on lost time when they go back to work on Monday whereas for the improvident idiots, the only highlight of their weekend will be spending more time on Facebook (can’t believe still?!) or Twitter or other Internet boons. But then again, you can’t judge the social net-workers by the time they spent on tweeting, face-booking, sky-ping, snap-chatting and some more virtual “social” platforms. I may sound naive and beginnerfessional here, besides being jejune! We need to redeem our existence and think for once are we doing what we really wanted or are we simply gushing with (or without) the flow. To be fair with fairness (Racism? Nope.), with every passing weekend, trying to convince yourself life doesn’t (stuck) suck depends entirely on one’s mind. Nothing else. Do you feel a sharp ‘ting’ in your head? If yes, its enlightenment. If not, enjoy your weekend. And do read this again on next weekend 😉

N number of years and counting…

There are million of topics to cover. Still, I’ve decided to write about parents. The only visible god to me. It has something to do with recent “developments” around me. We live our life in a way that enamors millions of stories, some of them true and some of them not. But if we look into our past, the very idea of a story is mostly passed on to us by our parents, and in my part of the world, it’s undoubtedly parents.

My parents celebrated their Nth (I don’t know the number) year of marriage. I’m purposefully not using ‘wedding’ here. Wedding happens every day but marriage takes time. They got married on (I don’t know this either) and it’s been a long journey for them. For a pessimist like me who doesn’t conform to societal norms which sadly includes marriage too, I find them “bliss” overwhelmingly inspiring!

I’m not being judgemental here but we Indians tend to fight against all absurdity of individual space and try our best to make our marriage a success, unlike in the West. My parents were no different I guess. They always had their altercations; even on the smallest of issues like the taste of salt in food or the way mom dressed a child. They could argue on the stupidest of event. As a different generation, the question still keeps in my head…How could you get along with a person as a spouse for such long years? I do admit that years are not a record or anything but from the way I see it, it’s indeed a record considering how different my mom and dad are from each other.

They has always been a fighter. Both wouldn’t give up easily and was not an emotional fool, so to say. Being educated, they kept injecting their pedagogy moral values which make me the kind of person I’m today. Some I accepts. Some I don’t and i’m glad this part they completely understands. Very well. Ain’t consider myself daddy’s little girl/princess or mumma’s little angel ever. Never. I’m more than that for them ‘a daughter’. I define them. They define me. We define each other. I hate them. I love them. I more hate them. I more love them. Yes, this how it goes. More than anything or just needless to say we know ourselves best. Mom can truly beat Sherlock Holmes when it comes to any kind of study in anyone’s mind. On the contrary, dad is a softie with a very generous (mysterious) heart and a deeper pocket. For him, i’ve more respect, dislike, kind of love for this man in this world no matter what. I still can’t talk with them with louder, angrier, shouter voice. Actually that situation didn’t happened in life. Still. He always been a good human being and whole of chembur can vouch for that! But I would say, out of these two difficult characters, both who made their marriage work, all because of their adaptability to situations. As an Indian nation, thing is so weird I’m writing this as their own daughter.

I like joking that my parents were happy for a long time… and then they got married to each other. I must say, I have worst fear loosing them (and loved ones) and I don’t want to face that ever. But at the back of my mind I see how happy they are together today, with all of us under one roof. (I may sounds typical in this but it sounds so good to me) He still calls her with her nick name and that sounds beautiful during their never ending arguments. Every morning, they go out together and come back debating on trivial topics but there’s an undeniable cuteness to it. I hate idiotic TV soaps but my parents are a huge fan and that doesn’t help my case either! Thanks to my goodness they don’t watch any kind of sanskar shows till now! I completely lose my all arguments with them about “how and what to watch on TV” here. They realize the fact they are not young anymore and they need each other more than ever.

For me, of course, they don’t like my apathy towards “responsibilities” nor do they like my being more sincere on virtual world than in real, but they adjust and that’s been the key to their more than a couple of decades marriage run!

Being in modern typical family, We had lunch and dinner together which is a rarity considering the clash of timing on usual days. I didn’t trudge along this time. In fact, I participated and enjoyed too. It was a real celebration. I’ve never been this expressive with words as long as my memory goes.

P.S.: This is what something happen when one can’t sleep with eyes open. Or should I say cannot concentrate on sleeping! If you are reading this tripe, please forgive me for being childish and naive. Honestly, I sympathize with your loss of time. Even right now, I’m awake. What more I can say!

Exact direction please!

Hospitality in hospitalFinding your way around any Hospital isn’t terribly easy. Hates word easy and simple. They just not that easy or simple in any case. That’s just seems like any heart beats. Left and right and up and down and east and west and north and south and almost all direction. “hell yeah!” is the opposite of “heavens no!”, which gives you an indication of which side is more fun. Hospital is where you can’t say excuse me, do you have a minute to talk about living on a prayer? Also, don’t tell me you’re lost because of missing the direction at least you got missing direction. I’m just in the center. Center of attraction?! But lost in the round. Directionless? Well, that’s the hospitality of the hospital.

Amusing random musings

No. This is not a western wind. Just a fresh air which wants to take part in tornado. Here it goes, the world will be different place if…

~ Creativity, Philosophy is part of the school education.
– Why?
~ For Life based education. And just not to complete grade based education.

~ University (college) education free for anyone.
– Why?
~ Came to know that most students have reason to avoid college’s higher education only for their money problems.
This point have ability to change the scenario.

~ Every handicapped person deserves our helpful hands and special services.
– Why?
~ Because they truly deserves it.

~ The person who wants it. For them “drinking” should not be illegal.
– Why?
~ Is that even deserves “Why?”? (the person should follow drink and drive rules in return)

~ Governments can rule in the country not on citizens heart and pockets.
– Why?
~ Do you wants to government rule on your heart and pockets?!

~ Every child, old person and in fact, anybody deserves a smile.
– Why?
~  🙂

~ Anyone should get what they want; at any cost even free.
– Why?
~ Don’t you just love the word “free”?!

~ One can leave their parents after high school and live independently on their own.
– Why?
~ Old age and orphan homes “thing” would/will not more part of the society. Young and old both minds could be more responsible towards their life and/or their goals and in the end they’d be responsible citizen of the world.

~ Meaning less movies should be give their half earned money to the needy people or even the new entrepreneur who wants/needs to start.
– Why?
~ You want it. You already lose my respect if you’re against this point.

~ Travelling should be free for the anyone who lives on the planet earth.
– Why?
~ Don’t you want it?!

In short, to avoid situation like when (if) I have two coins with me and there’s a beggar in front of me, I give one away and keep another to myself. That way, both the beggars are happy. Because both the parties are merely doing their job. This list is badly needed to avoid such situations. The list in no particular order but itself is so wrong that I can’t explain how stupid this sounds. Are you the same person who once saw things differently?! It isn’t about you finding your answers. It’s about you being brave enough to accept them.

Irony how, this list is still under in “What ifs” title. And it’s true to not just this idiot but also stupid, [Gut feeling is even/odd (in count of any) sense yet?!] Not making any sense, foolish or some-what-ifs-whose-whys-I-haven’t-figured-out-yet.

World Wide Words and World of Words

People around us are fading away and we see it happening every single day but we don’t stop and stare at someone does the same to us. We are in a hurry to make money, power and what not. It’s like being a race where no one is a winner but someone or the other is a fool proof loser. And we still don’t stop no matter what. People often give up their dreams and then call themselves “practical”. Nothing wrong with being practical but dead live practical zombie is what we become.

I’ve got nothing against education. Absolutely nothing. People high on adrenaline may say education makes us feeble and coward but I don’t think the same way. On the contrary, I believe education makes us accountable for our actions, or the lack of it. We just trying to survive those year. Education, we survive. We survive, Education. (?!) But somewhere down the line, our education is falling short, way too short of its potential. I’m taking this bit off about short urban words which we use meaninglessly, anywhere, anytime. And that has nothing to do with education. Again, I think so.

Someone who use the perfect words, replace the daily used words with its ornamental synonym, using perfect punctuation in their texts and making the conversation interesting by not just listening but also participating in a conversation actively is what you call a gem of a person. The depressing part here is there are very few gems who just by conversing lift you up and brighten your day. People these days are more keen on catching up with so called short forms or popularly known as ‘urban words’. The essence of words gets killed every passing day and an absolutely cliché word takes it place. A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

Like ‘Amazing’ and ‘Awesome’ has mostly killed their brother synonyms like Mesmerizing, Beautiful, Gorgeous, Handsome, Pretty, Dazzling, and so forth (etc) as we young people are so stuck just with those two words.
‘Bro’ for brother, ‘Sis’ for sister, ‘Stud’ for student why in the world you need to short the 7 letter (characters) word. Why?
‘Lovers’ are now called ‘Bae’ in a way to make it sound more modern and cool.
‘Sexy’ almost for everything no matter what the thing is.
‘Cool’ this word should be the reason you feel like an icy cold in hot summer noon; the way they use it in any sentence.
‘Fuck’ has become an expression for almost anything be it Surprise, Happiness, Shock, Excitement or Anger.

and many more that I lost the count.

Isn’t these are the people who used to say “my word is my bond. Yo!!” Why and just when did we started to believe in such short words? Is that a reason which shorting our thinking power at least as a human. The cause of all because lack of interest in reading books and wasting time on mediums that helps to degrade their communication skills. Like in messaging applications people make sure they reply as fast as they can and to reply fast, they sacrifice long words, shorten the original word according to their own convenience, use less or no punctuations or just using “!” At every inappropriate place. Sometimes it’s highly noticeable that ! (Exclamation point) is used mostly just for decoration while text-ing. Understanding of the message (and so the person) gone far away when you already did replied to the particular person. Question is why ride on such and much hurry to reply as fast as one can. Not that I’m an ancient animal who is against technology. I am a technology freak. I am with technology. I am for technology. I am by technology. But it can’t over me. Not important than me. And you of course. May be because I value the person more than his or her typing (fast) speed. I agree life is too short to wait. But if one can’t even wait for minutes; I doubt they understand the word patience fully. If you can’t wait for a minutes, hours… simply you forgot to take your patience pills.

Words matters, but not more than the person behind you and listens you. If anyone accept you as you’re, it is your job to not ruin just for bunch of words. The beautiful, soulful, classic words are disappearing while eagerly waiting for your touch, to make them feel lively, to beautify your conversation, to understand what actually person is saying. That doesn’t means you can’t talk non sense stuff. Of course you can in your and other persons limits and capacity.

So why not to give a try to this lovely words and give the urban words a break? And use the power of words as we have. Simple words have power to inspire the most. Pull out those direction-less dictionaries, check those synonyms, sayings and books, read those quotes and soon you’ll discover something that will be with you all your life.

Skill satire

Here in this era, this talk (kind of accidents) happen with me only. Still not sure why.

A well known photographer: “Why don’t you try in modelling or any other thing?”
I: You don’t have to be something, you don’t want to be! Also my qualifications and skills are not for the modelling neither any other thing nor I want it. Why should I become a model for your camera even knowing that I can do batter than that.
A well known photographer: “You got something I need. At least you can join me in my company and make it better also you can get lime light by it?”
I: Is it really something I ‘have to’ do? I hated lime lights anyway. Thanks. But let me think about it. Thinking takes time. Till then wait if you can.

And they’re waiting up till now. The thing is what people see in any women and not their skills. But hello… there is more to women. Seems like their new focus is on women who have lower self-esteem and insecurities. But why should it be based on beauty? The new choosing ‘Ugly’ or  ‘Average’ or ‘Beautiful’ why reduce women to that? What about “Strong” or “Smart” or “Confident”? We deserve something and you’re offering other than something. We can’t deserve each other. Didn’t understand why such mentality still in this world. Forget our beauty; look at our skills, man. It’s different. The reason why we fail to find a true talent of the person in this world even in this techie modern era. Absolutely nothing. I just wanted to settle down my frustration somewhere and I did it. Sorry for your time loss.