But first, let me be a selfiesh!

So looking at the selfie of girl with perfect slim, perfect hair, and dress like a cover page model Or looking at selfie of tall guy, with perfect jawline, perfectly waxed hairstyle and bunch of pack abs. You look at them and wish to become like him/her and in between ignoring the true fact how beautiful you’re. The trend is everywhere from Oscar to Bollywood to your Bathroom, you’ll find people awkwardly smiling at their own (and others too!) phone screen while drinking their coffee, eating at McDonalds, cuddling their pet, teddy they grew up with, making love to their mates, showing off their new lip shade with a pout… and what not?! There’s absolutely no situation (in this world, not sure about aliens!) where one can’t take a selfie.

In short, this gadgets screen is the new mirror for them. Remember, when self portrait known as today’s selfie and it speaks thousand words? No, for this generation a picture speaks thousand hashtags. The more hashtags the more you’ll come to know how beautiful the picture is. It has become important to snap every moment of life for this demanding tools known as Instagram, Snapchat… They always ask for more from you like a husband asking to go out with his friend and wife on her shopping spree.

They pretend their self as a professional photographer. If one is posting a selfie every day, their hobby isn’t photography. It’s narcissism. This trendy trends will get appreciated but the art of appreciating the inner beauty over the Selfie Beauty will soon go vanish. But the main thing here is how attractive people make a point to show their attractiveness to the people. People already judge and like you by the way you portray yourself on your social stage, so is it like in coming years people will go blind to inner beauty and choose a partner who knows how to flirt with camera and is a master with filters?! Are badly clicked pictures worth a thousand words or even hashtags too?! This post is not against selfie trend and I do not serve any Instagram, Snapchat… with all love and poses.

To be normal is amazing, being crazy is more. And it doesn’t takes any effort to be one. No need to show it off. You know who you’re. And someday everyone else will. It’s Alright to be yourself. No need to find yourself sipping coffee and wasting time on duing such things, where your two minutes magically stretch to 20 minutes in a second. And even Interstellar can’t beat that!

Their life is like a gadget with full of applications, they don’t know which options to choose from many applications available. And they end up choosing the one that sucks up maximum battery (life) out of you! And they always know that one can delete that damn applications and restart it again but what they do? they let that application to bother them for some more time until the other applications start feeling ignored. And maybe your problem now is “Which is the new best coffee in town that I need to taste?” (Enough ANDs) So why don’t just delete that one application and give yourself another chance to breathe in fresh air?!

I think, I’ve fulfilled my and (a bit) your intention here. Just updated another newest post with whatever I could manage!

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NO to blogging?

The trouble with maintaining a not that active blog is the need to write not that inactive post. Maintaining a blog has got its share of problems too. And trust me, its far more difficult than it seems. Needless to say, much of the blame must squarely rest on procrastination. If you happen to read my blogs regularly, you’ll notice me notice two things: One, you readers are in the minority and two, I’ve been writing about anything for a change, recently. The reason could be anything from different and lack of perception to laziness. But trust me, I enjoy doing so! Also, you realize you are not the same person you used to be when it comes to writing subsequent paragraphs.

I find it really hard to sit down and write a post and update it on a periodic basis. And the biggest problem is updating it regularly. I can’t even update and take my self seriously in the morning how can i do this thing called blogging seriously. Also it’s a funniest feeling to have thousands of ideas and wishing to write a piece on it as soon as possible but going blank as soon as you punch the keys down.

One more thing, I don’t understand why I bother to blog. I mean, I hardly have any attachment left with this thing. It’s a stupid blog after all. No one cares. Not even me. For a long while I was the only one who was reading my blog and now I’ve got some more people or so who at least have blog rolled me (out of sympathy, empathy it is!) but am pretty sure that they are happy that I don’t update my nonsensical posts!

Apparently, you are not at all excited about your post the way you were once upon a time. Not anymore.

Right now, the most important thing in life is focus on something important and idiotically I’m tweeting stupid thoughts and concerns on my timeline. Amazing. I wish I was passionate about blogging too. I don’t know what kind of creative creature I’m. Like I once read somewhere that Ruskin Bond dedicates certain part of his day to writing and nothing else and I started wondering how does he do that and that too on a daily basis. Maybe that’s why he’s a writer and I’m nothing! Heard about Khushwant Singh’s age-defying touch with pen the guy was 99 and never fails to write what he feels strongly about. And I’m young enough and still can’t able to think properly. My point is, why am I not doing something which could have been profession as some people said already. Don’t worry, I don’t know either.

Suddenly, you find yourself in a 140 character fix. In the Twitter era, you are busy scribbling one liners that sound funny enough to you, not with standing the fact that your followers are either sympathizing with your nonsense of humor or planning to kill you or silently cursing you. Oh yes, these are blatant excuses for not keeping up with laziness. If only you were a bit organized and a little less with balance, you wouldn’t have suffered of typing this useless piece. There are always hundreds of ideas in mind about what to write on but unlike before, you now don’t care to work on it. And you are failing to explore your writing skills.

Anyways, never mind these are my personal views about myself but I am glad that I was able to write a new post about it. So job well done for me. Unfortunately, can’t say the same about you reading this thing. Better luck next time, if at all, it happens. Trust me. It will. On a side note, I had a job to do. I had to update my blog. You see? I’m running out of ideas.

Blowing out the Nth Candle!

Birthday is supposed to be a huge affair, be it yours or anyone else’s, for the simple reason that it doesn’t repeat itself for more than once in a year. I’m not talking about those ‘leap year kids’ who wait a bit too long for their next birthday to celebrate! I didn’t liked birthdays. (Not yours or anyone’s, but mine) Reason? I hate to be growing old. But loved to be growing up. Isn’t it fair? It is actually.

I’m writing this as a return gift of someone. How idiot I’m, I don’t even know who the person is? Being back here feels good. I didn’t expected such a short time between me and the writing this post. It’s just few days before I declare that I’m quitting blog and here I am. Same. To the demand of one of the reader/s. Selfish in me says do not ask to anyone about any return gift from now on, for sure. Because you end up like this; All giving it up.

Well, talking of myself, I completed few more years in this life yesterday, on January 25th, 2015. Its like saying I accomplished some free trips around the sun through and with an earth. Thanks to government and goodness they give holiday today. There’s definitely a good feeling to have survived this long, with little bit of amnesia and growing hairs to count for. One more boom and year, quarter of allotted 100 years are gone. But who lives for a 100 year nowadays except for some exceptions.

How do people live with the fact that they’ve been alive for years and they haven’t done anything that is significant or worthy?! Specially young years. I don’t remember (amnesia you see! I don’t know either) what or which legends are attached to my birthday. Because (sure enough!) is making one. Other than perception towards life, I believe these years I had were the best for any breathing soul out there. Enjoy, oxygen is still on this planet. Though I sound pessimistic and dark on my tweets and Facebook statuses, but deep down I know I’m one lucky bugger (spoiled child) who got to do things the way she like, no matter how unappetizing it turned out in the end.

Birthday, it is the day when your year seems to be ending quicker than the previous one. Of course, it’s just an illusion, fantasizes and whatnot. And birthday is the full of moments when Albert “Theory of Relativity” Einstein can’t stop rolling in his own coffin. It’s like you’re leaving behind the most important time of your life, and there are n number of generations now younger than you are. No matter how went through a lot of phases in such a young age; passed through the phase where everyone you know is your best-friend and another where no one is, and people you love passing away, lost friends but then you realized it was for the best, achieved and grew in career and discovered a lot of your own potential. And I don’t think past years were ever wasted on anything that didn’t make me who I am today. See, I don’t want to age. I don’t want to grow any stupider than I already am. Perhaps I’m just another old fool afraid of adding/turning into one more year old fool, again this year. But i can sum it up by it’s good to be young than yesterday, it’s good to be shine bright even burning with desire!

On a softer note, this is the same alone birthday where I don’t need to share my cake to anyone. Actually, I learned how to enjoy birthday alone. Try sometimes readers, it’s way feels good. Damn good. Some people are still trying to give best-est wishes “Jiyo Hazaro Saal”. But it was a failed attempt on their side and almost ruined the day for all of me! I said her Happy Mother’s Day and him Happy Father’s Day and made peace. I (hired) gave them post called parents. As far as relatives goes, I don’t give much wind! Or even chocolates!

For the (up) coming years, I want to be more responsible. I kept running away from my responsibilities because believed running is good for my health. I don’t want to make the same old excuses. I want to try some new ones too. I concur that I’m terribly self-obsessed but you know, I do realize that. But my only wish is to be remembered as that girl who never failed to laugh in spite of any other thing! I guess i’m putting the aging in engaging like never before.

Maybe its time to think about life. Maybe its time to look out for that old-new-pro-fashioned guy (What?!) who is crazy enough to love (with) me. Maybe its time to focus, just some more focus. Maybe its time to put a stop to all this absurdity. Maybe it’s time to just SHUT UP!

You know you are in Ahmedabad when…!

  • You realize the city you are brought up in will assume prime importance, as it tends to grow on you.
  • You enjoy monsoon seasons by just opening your room window.
  • Somebody says “Amdavadi atle haramzadi”. (and yes, that boiling blood inside you!)
  • Your parents have no worries about your night outs.
  • You speak to each dog you pass… by name… and s/he wags his tail at you.
  • You get 10₹ copy and 400₹ coffee on the same road.
  • You see those unknown Streets, Pols with artistic designs.
  • You taste delicious food of a chef in restaurants/hotels/dhabas who’ve no hotel management degrees.
  • People celebrate with food – and it’s more than just for nutrition, health or just filling the belly.
  • You find dalwada for the rains, Aamras for summer, fafda-jalebi for Dussehra, Undhiyu for winter…
  • You don’t even mind when people from other states give Ahmedabad a Foodiefied tag.
  • When a gourmet’s paradise, a hub for gastronomy, RK or Jay Bhavani vada pav, Karnavati dabeli, Dakor gota, farali buff vada, Honest bhaji pav, Continental/Indian/Chinese food at Choice, Havmor ice-creams, juice and snacks at Shambhu’s Coffee Bar, the exquisite Gujarati thalis at Vishala, Rajwadu and Gordhan Thal – these are a few names which have ability to appease your taste buds. (Which actually, tends to be on the the most mind-boggling variety of food and sweeter side of the Ahmedabad.)
  • Two things are always on the streets of Ahmedabad any time of the day or night – Food centres and dogs.
  • You know all seasons “almost winter, winter, Summer, still summer, construction and Monsoon.”
  • The biggest business in town – start start-ups, private/public Limited companies or sell a delicious food items.
  • There are more Pvt. Ltd. companies, food joints in the city than hair on your head.
  • You’ve never had grain alcohol.
  • You write a check on the wrong bank and it bothers you very badly or it covers you anyway.
  • You won’t believe your eyes when you see the lane (called Khau Gali) in the morning (when it is desolate and empty) and then see it come alive in the evenings.
  • You cannot wait to show the real Ahmedabad’s humble beauty to the non-residents, in all glory.
  • You stop to wonder that Ahmedabadis suffer from any-street-food-withdrawal symptoms every now and then.
  • An isolated small shed where a food item is cooked well, becomes famous without having any great infrastructure or ambiance to attract food lovers, for which there is absolutely no scarcity!
  • Two elders start that nostalgic talk about how they were in two adjacent home of the same societies, or were in two buildings of the same area, and how they used to roam around the awesome Ahmedabad, and you feel like going back in time when going out with friends did not mean AlphaOne/PVR/Iscon/10 Acres/City Gold/Wide Angle/Drive-In.
  • You hear a previously unheard of area ending with Nagar, Pur. Enough said.
  • You keep arguing and fighting with your friends from the other part of Ahmedabad, as to whether east Ahmedabad is better or west Ahmedabad, without any meaning anything you say. Because you already know Ahmedabad is too good to just a part of it, when you have an opportunity to love the whole of it.
  • Its takes more time from Ahmedabad airport and/or railway station to city than from Mumbai airport and/or railway station to Ahmedabad.
  • You can’t remember the roads no matter how hard you try.
  • You find yourself drawn to S.G., C.G. Road or on a national highway every day.
  • Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered “going with the flow”.
  • The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit by traffic policemen.
  • Distance just not defined in terms of time, but two different measures while going and coming back!
  • When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different.”
  • Nothing is at your walk able distance capacity.
  • The ideal idea of a traffic jam is twelve cars waiting to pass a tractor.
  • When you found yourself lost and the person suggest you to go Central Bus Terminus (Lal Darwaja) – Because according to him/her, that’s almost the only easiest way to find where you exactly are and now you could move, wherever you want to move in whole city.
  • “Okay so I took a right, then a left, then left again, then I came to a circle from where I took the turn on the right and… is that the same tree I passed at the beginning of my ride? What?!” this situations quit normal in the city called Ahmedabad.
  • According to your mom, Khakhras, theplas should be/are at the top and best in your travel food list.
  • You can start your conversation and make friendship with anybody by just saying “કેમ છો ?” (Kem cho?). Yes, Ahmedabadi are the friendliest people you ever could found.
  • One side of the road has heavy traffic from 8-11 A.M. and the exactly opposite side from 6-9 P.M..
  • The road you took in the morning is all fine but is dug up beyond recognition by the evening.
  • It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding bicycles or any vehicles.
  • When 3 year olds near you communicate in three languages! Gujarati, Hindi and English?!
  • A Gujarati person tries to speak Hindi way too fast.
  • People call everyone older than you “ભાઈ ” (bhai), “બેન” (ben). Still. Not uncles and aunties!
  • “વહાલા” (Vahala), “બકા” (Baka), “દિકા”  (Dika), “બેટા” (Beta) are terms of endearment the same as “honey” “sweetheart” “dear”…
  • “some” don’t use turn signals because everybody knows where they’re going.
  • Your school/college classes were cancelled because of bomb threats, heat but not the cold.
  • You’ve ridden the school/college bus for an hour each way.
  • You’re born on July 3 and your family receives gifts from the local merchants because you’re the first baby of the year.
  • Your parents and grand parents attending sort of informative seminars, Gujarati Dayro, Bhajans, at a packed halls, grounds or any of the temple or at clubs. while your friends are attending an equally packed Ahmedabad palace grounds to get sunburnt, or any other music festivals and both are cursing the same time deadline.
  • We mind our own businesses. Like seriously!
  • Your “Vacation” means going to the family reunion. In weekends.
  • The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires, 3 pages for sports, 5 pages for advertisements.
  • Night-life strictly sticks to the night. Especially during the festival Navaratri. Quite literally.
  • The signals are so long the rickshaw driver had time to get out, clean the wind shield and smoke a cigarette.
  • Auto drivers don’t come where you want to go but you go where auto drivers are willing to take you!
  • You know there are more real estate based advertisement papers than total number of newspapers.
  • Some Ahmedabadi’s morning starts with some radio stations. (Clarification: I don’t know any) But Still.
  • Public transportation is overflow with most of students.
  • At a times, you think river front garden is “nature”.
  • You find yourself alone on your vehicle with defining your own definition of freedom.
  • When somebody say food is their first and only priority and you keep telling them it’s scientifically incorrect.
  • You do awesome weird stuff and do not update it on social platforms.
  • You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean west Ahmedabad.
  • You get a thought of starting a start-up or even any social meet-ups.
  • The social meet-ups organize at the coffee shop, the garden or in any play ground.
  • Aunties in your neighbourhood scream at the top of their voices asking you to play in playgrounds, and go poker face when you ask them to find a place for you to play there, if at all there are any playgrounds left in the locality.
  • You’ve fun arguing with Ahmedabadi policemen.
  • You’ve that extra born right to annoy your neighbours.
  • You realize this is written by just another Ahmedabadi.
  • You get to know you actually are in Ahmedabad.
  • When you know there’s a lot other things remains unmentioned here. And that’s probably fair because one just can’t sum up 464 km² city with few lines.

To the outsiders,
Oh… have I tempted you enough to plan a visit to Ahmedabad yet?!
Aavjo to pachi 🙂

Memories

You know it’s time to write a blog post when you start typing random things and keep on deleting them. Today was one of those days. So, here I am. Okay nothing just stupidity here. If you don’t have occupied your time somewhere. Yeah then, you’re welcome to join me and my not-at-all-writing skills.

I was in this extremely boring wedding today so I was doing all sorts of shit to keep myself occupied. And entertained. Seriously hat’s off for the women who wears saaris and handle themselves smoothly. Of course I’ve received some good compliments for it. But it just not my cup of coffee. Handled myself very I was eating paneer tikka with noodles and I was mixing orange juice with tomato soup and seeing how kids are maintaining this social occasion with their parents’ never ending warnings and I was talking to the waiters and I was observing (yeah. As usual). I saw 14 years old were dancing, 18 years old were thinking about dancing and 35 years olds were breaking the stage with their devastating moves.

Also, I saw everyone clicking pictures with their fancy cameras while all this was happening. 70 year old grandparents were asked to put the tilak once again because somehow the photographers couldn’t capture the moment well enough the first time. And the grandparents were doing it too, with smiles, big fake ones. Kids were clicking pictures with the mobile of their parents’ mobile phones. Their parents had professional cameras. The professional photographers had the more professional ones. It was a circus. A complete circus. It seemed like the wedding was happening only for the photographs. They were capturing memories so that they could relive it. Relive, ah! To relive, you got to live first. Two blacks make white, two wrongs make right.

It’s funny how most of the memories of our lives depend upon a small piece of plastic and techie technology. If there were no cameras, I bet it would’ve been difficult recognizing ourselves in our childhood pictures because there wouldn’t have been any childhood pictures. If we think about it, we have invented things so that our minds don’t have to remember shit. No memories of your past? Invent a camera. Can’t remember data?
Invent a computer. Can’t remember meetings? Invent reminders. Can’t calculate?
Well don’t worry dear mind, calculators are there. And thus, our minds started getting less occupied.

And what do you do when you don’t have anything in your mind? You invent. You invent more useless shit to comfort your lives. For a fact, my family never had a camera. We never bothered to buy one. I don’t have a reason to get embarrassed. There are no pictures of my parents having fun with me. Because we’re actually enjoying it without the worry one should capture them instead we’ve had enjoy for real. And what’s the point anyway? You aren’t going to forget who you are or who your brother was or who your parents are! I never understood this whole thing but I’m no one to claim that it’s bullshit. Until today, I never gave cameras much of a thought.

I always knew, I got to buy one someday. I always wanted to. But now, I don’t think we really need a camera. I mean we do remember stuff. If we can’t, then the stuff was probably not worth remembering. The whole thing of smiling and crying and smiling again after seeing the old photographs looks somewhat odd and ridiculous. I might never buy a camera. I don’t want to capture my kids’ childhood. I don’t want to cry looking at the photographs when they would go away to earn or to study. I don’t want that shit. I don’t give a shit about what toys my girl played with when she was small. And I bet on my life, she wouldn’t give a shit either when she would be twenty. Capturing a picture of your girl playing with those toys and reminding her twenty years later about how you cared about her says a lot about you.

Well, I certainly won’t need validation from my kids. Also, I’m not saying that people do these things for validation. They might not. It might just be their thing to look at the old photographs and cry. Anyway, so when the wedding got over, we handed the envelope to the groom and got ourselves clicked, for one last time. We were getting ready to go back home.

One strange thing happened I think it waited for a long to happen. My parents saw this one woman trying to have a conversation with her little girl. The girl was around 10 and she was probably going back home from her school. It probably wasn’t a good day in the school as she looked upset. The sight was beautiful as her mom and dad was making faces, playing with her and what not, just to make their girl smile. Seeing this, my mom started crying. Some memories flashed in her mind, maybe. Memories. I wish there were a device to delete the memories instead of capturing them.

Point to be noted: I never accepted the fact that I was depressed until I met my psych.
so if you think you are in depression, go to a psych, start your medication, take them until you realize it’s a big trap and then come here and read this blog post again and blame your so-called mind for not taking this post seriously before. And get depressed again.
If you aren’t happy, don’t worry, no one is.

You know you are in India when…!

  • You realize the nation you are brought up in will assume prime importance, as it tends to grow on you.
  • Your home is where the heart is.
  • You hear 5 languages in 5 minutes.
  • You hear “Suprabhat” at 7 AM and hip-pop at 11 PM.
  • You experience more than 3 weather changes in day!
  • You dial the wrong number, and talk for 5 minutes anyway.
  • You find people who fond of eating and are willing to experiment with different cuisines.
  • Seasons changes and so does food items around you.
  • You don’t know a stranger.
  • You keep arguing and fighting with your friends from the other part of the country, as to whether east India is better or west India or north India or south India, without any meaning anything you say. Because you already know India is too good to just a part of it, when you have an opportunity to love the whole of it.
  • You can offer yourself a full 15 minute enjoyment package while stuck in traffic signals.
  • You ask for the distance, you get answer directly converted in hours or in minutes.
  • You can name everyone you graduated with.
  • You can name at least 4 Indian Premier League teams.
  • You see scenarios something like – one hand on steering, one finger out window, other on horn, cradling cell phone, mind on radio game, setting up wind shield, banging head on steering while stuck in traffic, cutting across all lanes of traffic, driving at 40 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker…
  • All the festivals across the state and the country are named after a fruit, vegetable, plant, grain, animal or god.
  • You realize that there is different people around the Indian states and/or even NRIs enjoying their food together.
  • Everything you know about the Ramayana and the Mahabharata and the Civil War you learned watching TV.
  • When auto drivers don’t come where you want to go but you go where auto drivers are willing to take you!
  • You know there are more real estate based advertisement papers than total number of newspapers.
  • You realize that nothing comes for free. But at the same time, loving people you found for free.
  • Neighbour’s kids play in your yard more than you or your kids do.
  • When you look at an abnormally bright sky and experience an abnormally hot day, and tell and bet with your friends with conviction that it’s going to be rain pretty bad that evening.
  • You can breath your own self.
  • When you find out of the world billboards.
  • You realize this is just another Indian who written the answer.
  • You’ve that extra born right to annoy your neighbours.
  • When you get to know you actually are in.
  • When you know there’s a lot other things remains unmentioned here. And that’s probably fair because one just can’t sum up 3,287,590 km² country with few lines.

To the outsiders,
Oh… have I tempted you enough to plan a visit to India yet?

अतिथिदेवो भव: (Atithi Devo Bhava) 🙂

Nailed it!

They always say that we should listen to our heart and leave the rest on the universe. Well, they are mistaken. And they don’t even know how. Cheesy enough!

The thing is in way a rant of a frustrated student. If one do not agree with this, feel free to provide constructive criticism with reasons.

Reasons as to why you shouldn’t be in this College! Here’s a Thing that I wrote about Nirma! Frankly, I hate the place!

With the sucking (quite literally) heat/coldness of Ahmedabad and six back to back boring and over the top lectures, the day of weekday came to a halt. All I could hear after these two days is…
Is this what I really want to do?
I’m sleepy.
This place is boring.
I did not expect it to be so bad man!
And all I could say was, ‘I know that feel girl!’
Yes I did, at least from the time (maybe because it’s time that I joined the college) and so I came up with “some” points (extremely subjective) as to why one should not be in this college!

For the Irony of life!
Just as you enter the gate [The university spent a very high amount in the construction of its new gate (rumour claims it to be a whooping 1 crore rupees!)] of the college, you are welcomed by lush green trees with blossoming gardens. The sun shines brightly above your head and there’s this ‘feel’ as we call it while walking with your bag, full of exactly two books and a single use and throw pen. There seems no better place for the illusion of a beautiful nature that is created within the campus. But soon, you see gloomy faces all around. Specs clad students walking with pace that would sure give Usain Bolt a complex. No doubt the girls look as pretty as they ever would but the suffocating air that surrounds you, gulps you and you soon see yourself marching with the zombie army with your beard growing with the day!

For the toothy smile of your lecturers
For the whole day then, the classes change, the subjects change, the people sitting beside you change but, two things remain constant-
1. Your boredom and sleep.
2. Your lecturers. Yes their faces and accent does change but that doesn’t make much of a difference.

It rather shocks me as to how someone can modulate their voices and go on speaking so efficiently for an hour at a stretch without giving in to the drowsy, innocent faces of their students.

The day starts with the face of a heavy moustached man with vanishing hair and continues with a woman in punjabi dress and inaudible voice. A thin man then drops your jaw with his “Hinglish” and the jaw still hangs in disbelief with another man’s extremely polished English! Because they want you to be an “All-rounder”… Yes, a wannabe professional has to study Electrical Technology and Ethics & Values and Communication Skills (Not that I am complaining about the latter two, they just made my life much more interesting). And yes one needs to gorgeously mug up the huge ‘reference books’ in a worry that his classmate would overcome his hard-earned pointers! But ultimately, they turn you into a Horse! Sure enough one of you would have ridden a horse at least once in their life. And most of you must have noticed the blinkers that surround his/her eyes so as to restrict his/her vision only to one straight direction.

Some totally not properly planned crazy rules. Some (many!) things seem wrong to me.

1. Unnecessarily spending money on making the campus more and more beautiful, especially when that money could be used for a lot of productive activities like buying new instruments, research grants, Entrepreneurship, organizing seminars, etc.

2. The orthodox beliefs of the management. They shares a belief that a student needs to ‘taught’. More emphasis is being laid on ‘teaching’ them, than to help them learn. They need to be reminded that, A man can’t be taught, he can only learn from his mistakes.

3. Very much reflected in the 85% compulsory attendance rule.
Option A Below 85%? – Write papers (which people generally manage to copy in a day’s time and which contributes 0% to our academics)
Option B Below 60%? – Detained! (You have a genuine reason for such less attendance? Either you are ill, got hit in an accident, or anything else, you have to manage all that in just 15%. That’s just ridiculous. They won’t consider any medical certificate. Nobody gives a Damn! No one listens. No one cares. You have just ruined your career!)
I would like to refrain myself over talking much about this because almost everyone of us would have at least days of debate on this already. They should realize that attendance do not make us a good engineer or professional. It simply makes you a good student which doesn’t usually gets extended to a good engineer or professional. Institute doesn’t want to accept this simple fact. Plus, Institute hasn’t been able to put forward substantial proofs of the compulsory attendance had made a significant improvement in one’s performance. It’s just a hollow law imposed upon us, and we are here twisting into its wild clutches. If Institute is thinking that the learning atmosphere is pretty good and attendance is justifiable, they should come and have a look at the classes after the attendance being frozen. There are just handful number of students, though I have no intention to pin-point at them and I seriously respect their sincerity. But what about others? Why they have to come everyday, attend every lab and tutorial (Because, you are allowed to bunk only one lab or tutorial to make you fall in the above 85 bracket. Compulsory 85 in every component rather than average is yet another completely stupid rule) Physical attendance should not be confused with mental presence. One cannot compel thyself to attend this/that forcefully! While, the sincere students still remain sincere, the careless student doesn’t even care anyway. That sums it up why this rule is ineffective. Adding more to it, great professors don’t need the compulsory attendance to attract students in their classes, people will still flock to them if they are providing quality education. Come on, man.. we have come with a decent score, we are at least responsible enough and adequately concerned about our own future. So, Please! A good theoretical idea!

4. The hierarchical structure of the institute (management) directly contradict from the statement which they have hung in the Management building which states “There is no pleasure earned, without much pain”. A student with good motives find it hard to get things done. People often do not care about good initiatives. They just want to cover their official part of duty. Of course, they are right to do their duty. But I think the rules need to be changed. A college should to be more flexible as by the definition itself, it has to create a learning environment, not to hamper it.

5. Permission required to play in the courts, playgrounds. That’s not only the end of it. You can only play in the time span specified by them. Your college and your grounds, and yet, you need permission to enter! Make them free yaar!! Everyone want to play!

6. The Power Points picked up from the internet. Download of .exe files blocked. Why in the world, one can’t install a simple software? Free WiFi – everything blocked! What the hell are we supposed to do with Google homepage and Wikipedia? And what the hell are you providing for free? Every signal jammed! Vehicles in campus not allowed. If you construct your college far away from the city, even out of the reach of a proper public transport, how can you ban hostel residents to keep vehicles? Not a single management institute has this kind of a ridiculous rule. Students pay more than 50,000 INR per semester to watch NPTEL videos. Freedom (of anything) – don’t ever even dream of it! If institute really want the international standards and environment that top universities possess then freedom is an integral part of it. creativity cannot sprout if there is no freedom. They just forget that it’s a free country. A truly “technical” institution for you, folks!

7. Realize the placement companies mentioned in the website are truly hilarious. The eligibility bar set crashes the dreams of all others where many 6 pointers are way better than 9 pointers! Some are don’t even know about this!

8. The assignments/projects submission policy: Now want to remain away from the names (of faculties, of course!) but this is plain truth of what some of us went through. Sometimes you have to work with people you don’t even look at, just imagine the poor soul’s condition! Their archaic standards to compare students. They will judge you solely upon your pointers. That judging, is where the whole problem lies. You’re treated as a scumbag if you don’t get the pointers. On one hand, institute want us to submit work/projects on time, while never providing necessary guidance as to how to do that work. Knowing the truth about something is far more important than getting things done.

9. Why does one have to make a register entry at entry gate even having ID card? That too every time on making an entry or exit? The sheer number of ridiculous rules due to them, the number of times I felt rage boiling down inside me was large enough. No wonder, I won’t hesitate in refusing to help the institute in any way, if ever asked.

10. The quality of professors/lectures and management’s inattention towards the recent faculty drain and some reputed professors have left the college. The new ones don’t know much. Frankly, I simply fail understand why the faculty knowledge level is so low. They are being paid above 50K, and for what? Most of them can’t even write and successfully compile a code. Faculties being hardly available to your personal help or pleas (because they are always roaming around the campus or might be busy on their laptops, doing something I seriously don’t know what?!), you can get a feel of it being a government office than a college. Come across faculties who will go to all sorts of lengths to help you in your pursuit and even those who wouldn’t bother to do a Google search about some topic and rather say “Don’t ask me – I don’t know”! When this is the way a student is treated in the Institution, how does one expect him/her to be innovative and change the community. Never asked for a kidney. All I asked was to give me a chance to say. If I were a faculty, that would be the most insulting phrase for anyone to utter let alone do it myself! Damn it! just a curious soul and want to know from you I know there is a thing called Google exists. Had no help from the faculty or the deans. Amidst the chaos of the rules no one knew which applied how and when and where. For student like me, the hardest part has been sitting throughout the lecture and listening to a person, who for most of the part doesn’t understands what he is actually talking about. Sometimes I feel as if I could have in fact learned better, had I given the same time to a YouTube tutorial instead. A teacher cannot afford to be confused. He may not know certain things, and that is okay, but at least I expect to learn a certain basic concepts from him. It doesn’t makes sense if have to go home, unlearn what has been taught and again relearn the same from online sources. Because, I am a student and hope that stay a student as I learn much more when I teach than when I was being taught.

11. Caterers – Laziest people on earth! Want to experience a tour of mumbai locals in Institution? Come to K block during break-hours. Because, canteen not less than a fish market and filled with students. You cannot celebrate birthdays, cannot make announcements and you cannot find food all the time! Another British rule! Its come to a stage where some of our elders have really become far more immature than us.

12. The Institution is filled with students. Its difficult to find some privacy, Space crunch where one can sit and think. ‘Innovators/creators’ need to sit alone and think. As rare as they are, even if there is one in the college, unfortunately, he/she doesn’t have the ‘time’ or ‘space’ to do so. Are we left with enough energy to innovate and be creative after so much work? (One have to spent 10 hours of a day receiving and recovering from your college education!) Depends on an individual’s capacity but in general most people can’t!

13. And there are many more! Would love to mock at all those (literally!) fantasy lovers who have made the name “NirmaLand” viral. I mean, seriously let alone be it to be called a “Land” of its own, being here will make you feel like in any local institution (At a times, one must be tempted to feel that even the other colleges would have been a better option than this one). Some sections (no proper response is something which I won’t mention, because that will already look wearisome by now.) It is a sheer waste of time.

14. Also, adding to the endless agony, some good professors brag about our dearest alumni, Mr. Pranav Mistry. But no one ever mentions what made him unique, what projects he did, how he did them? Which confirms, professors, for most of the times, have no idea what a student is working on. At most, they would know the overview. Every University has a right to take credit of their alumni, but that is the case when the alumni himself believes that the university has in some way helped him. Has he himself really mentioned to anyone that he is a Nirma Institute alumni? Does he really cares where he did his B.Tech. from? Has he ever spoken of how the institute contributed in making him a better innovator? Even the best minds need guidance to become great. Does institute have someone of that level? Or have they lost hope that institute will not find the best minds?! We all could have taken admission to government colleges, but we choose Institute called Nirma, because we thought it would actually add value to us. I am sorry to say this, but except for the part where we get praises from relatives, I do not see any value added to me! Though I did made a few good friends, and I am grateful for that.

15. The institution has several other issues to deal with but management is one of the things that needs to be changed before its hard earned reputation goes to the dogs. But as long as people continue to sway in being a part of the crowd, nothing is truly going to happen. A Misconception, that it is a very good institute. No. It is not.

Considering the above facts, it is becoming more and more apparent that it has become a numbers game. Clearly, the quality has been significantly compromised. It’s No To Nirma for sure. Really feel sorry for parents to have them drained out of money for this piece of shit. From now onwards, will refuse to let not this stupid institute ruin my talent and creativity, be it in any sphere. Seriously think taking a drop would have been a much better option than to take up studying in this institute. Rules are meant to guide students, not make their student life experience a bitter one.

A history of people who were absent, and plans that did not come to pass. But you the institution; I preferred you over my passion. Clearly shows, my passion is strong enough. But remember one thing, free speech is so last century. Today’s students want the right to be comfortable. Will come with big bang!

Life here is same as the above situation. It is as if there is no life beyond the atoms revolving around its nucleus. You are looked up to as a criminal if you have more interest/knowledge about a certain Shakespeare or any Cyber thing more than the interest/knowledge you have about the one-phase and three-phase generators. Because you don’t want to bore the rest of the World!
‘Saw his result? He scored more than me!’
‘You know mom how that works?’
‘Yaar! kitna padha?’
And the list goes on! There’s this I.T. Vocabulary that you would become a part of your day to day life. No matter if you are on a date or at someone’s funeral, the dynamics of motion and the force-couple system is sure to haunt the people around you!

Dear Nirma,
ever heard of this? A school is as good as it students!
It’s not your, it’s about my standards.

After all this, let me add where Institute actually scores since desirability this (almost!) article to remain balanced. Purely exploitative in nature. It has got a very good library. By very good, sincerely mean very good. The day when books start judging us by our faces not far away!

For a extra Gyani note: If you are capable, and smart enough, you can shine through. Studying in a premier institute doesn’t even important. I am not bragging or boasting about it, but I am telling this because your grades and packages don’t define what you are and what your passion is, which is always with you. Not forcefully!

Not a big time follower of Shakespeare but remembered one thing which he said “What’s in a name?” well said man, well said!

I apologize for such a long post I have to speak through heart out loud. For the one to fight for the right thing because I have the guts to do it. Well, I can see how cheap your thoughts are to judge me from my this post habits! Keep going at least people have got some time to think/judging about me!

Creativity in me making sure you somehow spend your not-so-valuable time on reading this lame attempt at writing a post when there’s nothing to share about because i’m too busy thinking about my future that my present is blissfully blank and I don’t give a damn about it either.

N.B. Sorry but this shit happens when you’re so darn excited that even any of the weekday starts having an identity crisis.

Hidden humans

Humans have this tendency to occupy things, to capture them, to keep them safe, to never share them. As the times have passed, these things have transformed into emotions. I was fascinated yet shocked by the realization that I don’t want to share my thoughts. I am scared of sharing the characters developed by me. Scared of validation? Maybe. Maybe something else. Maybe nothing there in the first place. I just don’t know it yet.

Maybe because they aren’t ready to come out yet. Or maybe because I am not strong enough to let them go. Once they are out, they can’t be with me. They will become a part of this world. It doesn’t matter if anyone reads them or not, loves them or not, but they won’t be the same for me, ever again. Amazing how we can become possessive about the smallest of the things or thoughts, but can let go our careers, our love, or even our freedom.

One thing is for sure, people who say that they aren’t insecure and that they don’t have any thing which they fear of losing, they are freaking kidding themselves. They’re lying with there self esteem. Even the smallest of the thoughts which we don’t share can become one of the biggest reasons behind the decisions which can change our lives forever. Never underestimate your emotions. Stolid is just a word. Stolid people don’t exist. It’s a theory by introverts-cum-ambivert to keep extroverts away.

Trust me, imagination is a bloody brilliant thing, and we should use it often. whether cows can get lung cancer by the smoke from your cigarette. Just go out and walk around and sit on that park’s bench and watch the oldies laughing and think how scared they actually are of dying.

The gentleman saw me smiling when all this was happening. After half an hour he came to me and told, “People will always judge your story, but they will never tell theirs, because they fear of being judged. Never in your life judge anyone before having the courage to tell your story to this world.” Of course all of this was in Hindi, and of course the guy was too drunk, but to think about it, he was right. No matter how bad your story is, or how weird your characters are, if you can have the courage to share them, you are doing at least one thing right. It’s not about how to share, or with whom to share, it’s just… Share.

I don’t have a any idea why I wrote this post, but you know what, it feels good. Pretty damn good.

Randomness

You know you’ve grown up when you start laughing at the random absurdities of life instead of frowning upon them. When you start anticipating weirdest of the shit to happen with you at the weirdest of the times, you realize how life has been messing up your plans since forever. Sometimes it’s suffocating, sometimes it’s hysterical and the rest of the times it’s just plain nothing. Nothing at all.

An abyss in which your choices echo till you scream your lungs out. An infinite in which you are falling relentlessly, opposing every force of this universe. A life which is a rock bottom in itself, and it keeps hitting you, till you feel numb. And sort of dumb. And then one fine morning, when you wake up from your slumber, you realize you’ve never actually slept. The years have gone by in front of your eyes, and you’ve let them pass. You have seen them passing and you remember every year, every month, every day, every minute and every second, every micro second, passing in front of your eyes; eyes which were wide open, dreaming about something which never existed in the first place.

You keep telling yourself lies until they become an integral part of you. You become the part of the world which you’ve created for yourself, and the strange thing is, you feel suffocated. In your own god-damn world. The reality acts as an oxygen mask, you’re in his ICU and no matter how much you hate it, you can never dare to remove it. You actually start seeing the pattern, you start predicting things, you predict them correctly nine out of ten times. And you know why you fail the tenth time? Because a small part of you still expect things to be how you want them to be. And when this tenth time gets repeated a thousand times, you realize the randomness.

You start being one of them. You stop being you, you become them. You become a particle. You become the randomness.

Sip of moments

One of those days when you want to just sit near your window and balcony with a cup of coffee and contemplate about your life.

When you want to just get over all your regrets and start things all over again, no matter how ugly your past was or how destructive your present is.

When you want to answer all the questions that you procrastinated upon earlier in the hope of getting answers as the time passes by.

When instead of doubting your abilities you take pride in them.

When you sit calmly with a clear mind and re think your goals.

When you ask yourself if not now then when?

When you give yourself the second chance that you deserve.

When you look at the trees and think how beautiful everything is and how it’s just the perspective that matters.

When you realize it’s never too late to start things all over again. And the perfect time to do that would be right at this moment. Now.

When you take the last sip of tea with a whole new perspective.

When you start being yourself.

One of those days. Such days don’t come often. Don’t miss out on them. Collect the inspiration, put some dedication, make your own tea. Life isn’t short. It’s damn long. Long enough to live every moments of it. And you deserve to live it with all the happiness. The unexamined life is not worth living. Actually, it is.

P.S.: I’ve never written this confusing for a while. Till then live with confusion. It’s damn curious feeling.

Farewell, not so well

Let’s just forget that we are just a freaking dot in this vast Universe. And continue. How can one possibly able to do justice with all those memories lived, just by writing one blog post? I would dare not. Hence, nothing of this is about college. Heh?!

Few more months and everyone will get busy with their own lives, own jobs, own careers. Sure everyone would promise to stay in touch but let’s be honest here, we all know how that would turn out to be. You want a quick proof? Just count the number of school friends that you are in touch with now? This is just another phase which gets repeated every year, only with different people. (Hope, the friends we made during this time will last longer through out the life)  We are growing up. All together. We are getting ready to face the world outside the door. We are becoming one of them. We are tying our shoelaces to go out there and find ourselves in the crowd.

All things happening way too fast. Some will survive. Rest will become particles. Particles which will ultimately reach the shore; not sooner, later. But isn’t the race all about to reach there faster? To earn more? To spend more? To become the king and queen of our own little king-queen-dom?  I have always been the one with a perspective different from that of the society. I always wanted to follow my passion (not that I know what’s my passion as of now).

I was one of those who had a dream to dream a dream which no one has ever dreamt before. And look at where I am now? (not that (even any school buddies) any of you know where I am now but I am using this sentence as a rhetoric to convey I am doing nothing great which was quite obvious yet I explained in this different font). I am not being pessimistic, just being honest. Brutally honest. If nailing one exam or getting a good job defines you and your status in the society, then brother and sister, that society is not worth living for.

My search for passion hasn’t stopped yet. It has just faded away. And I don’t even know why. Actually, I do. But I don’t want to admit. I don’t know how you are supposed to deal with such stuff. I’ve never been good at it. At times, I feel numb. At times, I explode. At times, I feel helpless, I feel miserable. At times, I pity myself. And at times, I don’t want to live. There’s a limit to everything. If this is life’s way of teaching lessons, I don’t want to be the student anymore. You’re beautiful. I’m beautiful. But truth is ugly.

Dear Facebook and your Users,

Awesome, Facebook is growing yearly. More boring status updates than ever. Yes, today is the start of a new year, but there are some things that still haven’t changed since last year. Your best new year resolution would be (only) “I’m not posting this on Facebook”.
For instance, I still don’t care that you’re watching the news. Why post that? I mean, seriously, that’s all it says. “Blah Blah Blah… is watching the news.”
Nothing about the news or what’s on the news. Just that you’re watching it. Listening it. Doesn’t need to inform whole world.

So I have a New Year’s resolution for you. It might be a challenge for some of you, but here goes. Say something actually interesting. You know what? That’s not fair. That’s asking too much. New Year’s resolution for me. Get more interesting friends. I should probably get on that.
Facebook you’re getting bored.
Sincerely,
Sneha

P.S.: Still not a user of Facebook.

Dear 2013,

Let’s be honest, 2012 was a bit of a disappointment. I mean, it was nothing like that ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2’ movie. Relax, folks, if you can’t tell I’m kidding about that by now, I’m not sure what you’re doing still reading this blog.

All I’m saying is, 2012 was supposed to be a year of change. What changed? Not even our PM! I mean, thank God for that, but seriously! Okay, I guess I did change states… but I’m doing the same thing in 2013, so that sort of life event can’t be that huge.

2012 promised the world ending and it didn’t even deliver on that. So far, 2013, I have no expectations from you, so if you manage to let me down? Well, that would truly be a feat.
Sincerely your welcome buddy,
Sneha

Dear so-called-college-friends who are tired of the election,

It’s been a long road, hasn’t it? Truth be told, with all the mud-slinging and uncertainty from both sides of the aisle, it’s been a pretty exhausting election. Still, your posts of “Okay, the election is over, stop posting about politics” and “Ugh, I’m so sick of politics, so glad we don’t do this for another few years,” well, they make you sound ignorant. Is the next election in five years? Sure, you’re right about that much… but do you really think the only time to be political is during the election? Because I hate to tell you, but that’s not how it works.

The visibility of politics is definitely increased around this time of year, but if you think you can just vote once and that all your prayers will be answered by the time the next election rolls around? Well, you’re mistaken. You have to hold your politicians accountable. You have to keep track of the issues. If things aren’t changing, you have to work for that change. Call your political officials, protest, do whatever necessary.

We live in a society of instant gratification. If your demands aren’t met by the next election, you claim the system failed you. But you have to work the system too. Ignoring the fact that politicians are busy and can’t always achieve the change you wanted immediately, they’ve got a lot of ground to cover. You need to be persistent.

So next time you tell me you’re tired of politics and you can’t wait for it all to be over, expect to be verbally bitch slapped. Politics are never ever. They are in a constant state of evolution. Perhaps your failure to realize that is part of the reason you’re so disenchanted with the system. Believe me, it’s far from a perfect one, but it’s not completely lifeless yet. Don’t call me “anti nationalist” or “you always was kind of bad at being patriotic”. Elections are over. So does year. Welcome to reality.
Your move Politicians.
Sincerely,
Sneha

Dear free Voters,

It’s that time of year again. Don’t be an idiot. Get informed. I’m talking about more than just watching the debates. Follow through. If you did, you’d see how frequently some people was mistaken and/or outright lied in each debate.
It’s not hard to do.

There are tons of partisan websites that can help you sort through the issues. And if you don’t or you don’t vote, you lose the right to complain about the way your country is run. Oh, and I’ll kick you.
The more you know. That would be appreciated by me.
Sincerely, You’re the final judge,
Sneha

Dear Subconscious,

How Hermione of me, right? Anyways, I was just hoping you had a little time to discuss some stuff? Who am I kidding, of course, you’ve got time. I’ve got nothing but time, and you’re stuck with me…(my bad or your good?) or, you are me… or whatever. Anyways, let’s get to the topic at hand. Dreams. Thoughts. I’ve had some weird ones. Correction, I’ve had a lot of weird ones, but last night’s?

Allow me to explain, dear readers. Last night, I dreamt that I was seeing that new Ryan Gosling movie he did with the director of Blue Valentine. I can’t remember the any name. So I get to the theater and settle in. Lights go down, movie starts up… it was two hours of Ryan Gosling eating babies. Now, I don’t think that’s actually what the movie is, but can someone please explain to me, why the hell I’m dreaming about eating babies? Like, that’s weird, right? Great, and now I’m hungry… not for babies. I’m, like, normal hungry. Definitely not baby hungry. I cannot emphasize how much I do not eat babies, contrary to what my subconscious would like me to believe. Thanks mind do mind your own businesses.

Hey subconscious same advice for you too! Ugh, I’m going to go pour a bowl of food.
Well played Subconscious.

Dear New Neighbor,

Hey, how’s it going? Settling in and everything? Look, I just wanted to talk to you about something from yesterday and few days before of them. Here’s the points… take them (very) seriously!

Point 1 – I know when we first meet people it can be rough. First impressions can be nerve-wracking. Specially with me. And I guess you too. I mean, you want to come off as cool, but still establish your boundaries. I mean, you do you, dude but if we could keep the total randoms maybe, like, in your room? Yeah, that’d be cool too.

Point 2 – Seriously, when all I could hear was, like, the squeak of what sounded like a rusty swing-set, despite having no swings in a one-mile radius, all I could think was, “well, shit, here’s…” While I appreciate a good pop culture reference as much as the next person, it’s 6:30 in the morning. Well, that and, apparently, new street dog didn’t like The Warriors too much because he keeps growling at you. Me? I can just tune you out.
But a growling dog, standing at full attention on your abdomen? It’s a little more difficult. So take your creepy ambient noise and peddle it somewhere else because I’d really like to get this dog off of me.

Point 3 – I’ve put up with a lot. Honestly, I don’t mind. You’re usually pretty good folks. But seriously? I mean, stomping around at, like 4 in the morning? I’m not even exaggerating. I was literally awoken at 4 AM by what sounded like the wildebeest stampede from The Lion King. I mean, yeah, a part of me is pissed about the whole “being woken up at 4 AM” thing, but what is there even to do at 4 AM on a Monday in Ahmedabad? There is literally nothing open. It’s just wake me up at 4 AM on a Saturday morning with your old songs and we’re fine. No, I’m not happy, but eh, I’ll deal. But it’s damn Monday; well, technically Tuesday. It’s just – it’s not my problem you’re raging alcoholics, but it becomes my problem when you wake me up.

Point 4 – Your girl and your family. I know you’re new here, but allow me to explain something. I can hear everything you do up there. A certain part of it is, well, because this is not your apartment building, but the other factor? Yeah, you’re just that too loud. I mean, for God’s sake, cowgirl boots? Not even just cowgirl boots, but evidently, cowgirl boots that you’ve fitted with some sort of tapping apparatus or maybe lead soles? I only assume it’s one of those two because there is no way a human should actually be able to make that much noise with just two feet. So maybe we can try taking off our boots, just when we’re inside? Think about it? And when I say “think about it”, I really mean “do it”.

You think I need to give you more points?

Maintained my neighborly discipline,
hope you does, too.
Sneha

Dear random specific reader who texted me about no new posts,

Sorry I couldn’t write from few days. I was a little (too) busy, (Or maybe if you know I have a life to handle seriously!) oh I don’t know, driving across the country! So please accept my sincerest apologies that you didn’t have one of my oh-so-stupid five sentence rants to read from few days. I’ll do my best to never fail you like that again.
In between the driving and the not-writing or the drinking (only water) and catching up with old friends my hometown and the not-writing, I don’t know how I could betray you like that by not writing one of these posts. Unfortunately, that’s all I can give right now.
Your so-called-writer,
Sneha

P.S.: Oh yeah… most of my stuff is still in storage in Ahmedabad if anyone wants to drive down and visit me with most of my earthly possessions? I don’t hate that plan, either.

Dear Indian History,

While I’m really grateful for a day off in the middle of august, let’s talk about the man behind the myth. Mahatma Gandhi was not a very nice guy. He cheated on his father and sons. He reportedly plagiarized a good deal of work in school. But you know what? That’s okay. Well, okay, maybe it’s not okay, but it happened. Moving on. My point is, we shouldn’t be so desperate for heroes in Indian history. Mahatma Gandhi’s influence is undeniable and revolutionary, as an activist, but as a man, he was as deeply flawed as the next man or woman. He wasn’t perfect. The sooner we stop teaching these sanitized depictions of historical figures, the closer we can get to a national identity that embraces the good and the bad. After all, a wise sitcom once told me that if you take them both, then there you have… the facts of life. Okay, but enough about another humans. Seriously though, the idealization is getting out of control.

Mahatma Gandhi was not a bad man.  Gandhi is the world’s most famous hypocrite. Gandhi’s first son, Haridas, and how he was rejected by his own father. Who could argue with Gandhi the lawyer? You will never hear me saying that. But i said it now you see? He created a national dialogue in a meaningful and life-changing way. Was he a bad father? Eh, he probably could have been a little better… Was he a bad student? Well, plagiarism isn’t exactly great, either… But none of these do anything to make him less profound and impact-full. They just make him human. I’m just saying, historians. Maybe you should consider it.

It just pre-technology era which we still believing in. I’m still reeling from being lied to all my life about how awesome Christopher Columbus, Vasco da Gama was.
Sincerely still Indian,
Sneha

Dear Social Media Friends,

It has come to my attention that I may broadcast my lifestyle in a way that makes it seem… more than what it is you assume to see. This was brought to my attention by a friend who expressed concern over my wanting to move to south India which he deemed “not worth it”. Obviously well-intentioned, it was not well-received, with me responding that I know what I’m looking for better than anyone else. Thankfully I walked away from, but not before seeing his response about how I look like I’m going from trip to trip (I didn’t realize moving across the country was going from trip to trip) and posting about day drinking (coffee of course!) and passing out early.

I didn’t realize that day drinking was considered a good thing. Truth to be told, I didn’t did it and even I see it as a good thing. Usually it’s the first sign of alcoholism… I mean, I’m not that bad, but yeah, day drinking (remember its coffee) isn’t a sign of being carefree, trust me. That being said, I’m aware that I usually put up a bit of a wall, letting people see what I want them to see.

I just never thought I’d have friends that judged me for what they saw on the surface instead of taking the time to look beyond it. It’s weird… It should be. Maybe that’s why I don’t like people much. Who knows? Anyways, better luck next time with your off-base-wasted-time, pop psychology diagnosis, friendo.
Your socially awkward friend,
Sneha

Dear sleepless night,

While I’m flattered that you find me attractive, it is 6:30 in the goddamn morning. I mean, I’m even a morning person, but 6:30 AM? Seriously? No one wants to get hit on before they’ve even had a chance for their morning coffee or at the very least, a bowl of yummy food. I even tell the people I’m in a serious relationship with, you. That is how much I hate pre-noon flirtation.

So thank you for your advances, but it’s not going to happen. I’m going to take Samuel L. Jackson’s advice and back to sleep.
So Sleepy but still sincerely,
Sneha

Dear Nightmares,

We’ve known each other for, what, many years now? It’s been a while, that’s for sure. Hell, I’m pretty used to you by now. That’s strange thing actually. But last night? Last night marked a new low. I get a new dream, preferably one without clowns or needles.

Except last night… the dream started with a Albus Dumbledore – type figure as my college professor. No, the nightmare wasn’t about being in college. As the dream progressed, professor – wannabe was killing off students one by one in an effort to engage the class in his criminal psych class. It ended with him giving us all lethal injections because evidently we had never watched Scooby Doo before and none of us guessed that the creepy dude did it. Then I woke up.

Okay, not bad, but a little (Not that little girl!) weird… my next dream was that we were in his class again and he was up to his same dirty tricks, with slightly different methods of execution. I dreamed a sequel. More than that, I dreamed a shitty sequel that completely ignores the fatalistic ending of the first dream.

So here’s the deal, Nightmares. You keep doing what you do and I’ll cope with the sleepless nights, but no more sequels! I please you now! It’s right time to start a dreaming.
My Sleepless life,
Sneha

Dear Dad,

Firstly, I’m going to start with “I Love you”. And when I say that I really mean that. Now, look, I know it’s been awhile, but I have a kind of personal question to ask you. Last night, I had a dream that you and my teacher from middle school – well, you guys ate me. Not, like, “zombie style” or “ghost style” ate me, but “baked me at 360 degrees until golden brown” ate me. Weird? Isn’t it? It is. But since i dreamt it. I’m scared now. We’ve to make this clear now.
I just wanted to check… that was – that was, like, a dream, right? Not a premonition? because I know we’ve had disagreements before, but I don’t think anybody has solved their problems by eating their offspring before. I mean, just look at how it worked out for ruler of heaven and earth – Zeus.
Your only daughter, please look into my matter,
Sneha

Dear world over Internet,

I mean, it’s a little distressing that we get this upset about Batman, but I’m willing to overlook it. As a fan myself, I’ve been known to emotionally invest in some, er- less than important debates. In fact, the whole “Whose better, Superman or Batman?” thing has always been a pretty heated debate with me, but let’s relax, it’s not like Lindsay Lohan has been cast as Black widow or even wonder woman. Besides, to those saying, “well, he was terrible as Daredevil…”

Time has come, when female super heroes start to rule our hearts. Come on, we’re on edge of the technology era. We deserve this at least now. No its not Batman is better than superman or bat-woman is better than super-woman thing. Or why we need more female movie heroes. No, Daredevil was terrible with or without Ben Affleck. Besides, I got through The Avengers, even when Scarlett Johansson was cast as Black Widow, so trust me, you’ll live. Hmmm… Maybe for forever kinda of- thing. Women in marvel super hero series. wonder woman, black Widow and hope list never ends.
Sincerely,
Sneha

Dear cousins,

It had been awhile. You know how it is, with a family like ours. It’s hard to get everyone together at once. That’s probably my biggest regret, how long it’d been since we saw each other last. Since we met each other last. Honestly, it’s hard for me to write a letter like this. I remember after a friend of mine said, the grief counsellor recommended you write a letter to the person. Well, you guessed it, I’m not that religious girl so the exercise seemed kind of pointless to me, but I gave it a shot then and it doesn’t hurt to try again, right?

I guess the main thing I wanted to say was thank you. It’s always disheartening that such terrible things happen to bring out the good in people, but it’s always amazing to me when they do. My mom? When she called to tell me the news, I knew it wasn’t good because I could hear her sniffling. The number of years old and I’d never seen or even heard my mother cry. We were always one of those ordinary people emotionally repressed kind of families and it worked for us. Later that night, I saw my brother was calling. Again, not close, but mainly because we don’t know how to talk to each other, not some childhood resentment, memories or anything. When I picked up the phone, he simply told me, “I just heard the news about you all and I wanted to tell you while I still can that I love and care about you.” I was taken aback. This is the same guy who used to pin me down with his knees and twist my hands till I was almost in tears.

Honestly, I didn’t really know what to say, so I tried saying it back. Like I said, not a big fan of feelings or talking about them, so the word “love” kind of caught in my throat, but eventually, I got it. I’m so sorry that your father no longer with us, but what you were able to accomplish for those you left behind in your father’s death? It’s nothing short of a miracle, so thank you for that. I will be going to that brave to meet you and I have no idea what I will say when I’ll meet you. I mean, I don’t know if I should crack jokes to lighten up the mood or if i should show my sympathy-cum-empathy to make him feel awkward. I don’t know how I’d feel about it. Hoping that it wouldn’t be more awkward than this write up.
Sorry we’re not that close but my condolences with you,
Sneha