Dear Dad,

Firstly, I’m going to start with “I Love you”. And when I say that I really mean that. Now, look, I know it’s been awhile, but I have a kind of personal question to ask you. Last night, I had a dream that you and my teacher from middle school – well, you guys ate me. Not, like, “zombie style” or “ghost style” ate me, but “baked me at 360 degrees until golden brown” ate me. Weird? Isn’t it? It is. But since i dreamt it. I’m scared now. We’ve to make this clear now.
I just wanted to check… that was – that was, like, a dream, right? Not a premonition? because I know we’ve had disagreements before, but I don’t think anybody has solved their problems by eating their offspring before. I mean, just look at how it worked out for ruler of heaven and earth – Zeus.
Your only daughter, please look into my matter,